Nothing is black or white anymore. Nothing is clear and simple. I seemed to be pretty happy for a while, but now, it's as usual, boring. It's only my poor brain, that is surprisingly speaking my grandma's voice ('you're getting older and older, it's high time you were stable!') that force me to stay in such a relationship. I think I lost my ability to fall head over heels a few years ago and for now it's only a foolish enchantment that I'm experiencing. But I'm experiencing nothing at this moment, a great hole of nothing and I feel really empty. Still, I love one person who I cannot get rid of. And he wasn't ideal Prince Charming, frankly, he was far from what we can name as "Ideal". But he is so charming that it's impossible for me to forget. Each time he calls, each time he writes.
Another holidays of "boring-depressed" kind. And I don't really know what I can do more? I was trying to find something else which would fill my time with it. And they all tell me one day I'd be happy. So I can't wait.